"Why Is It That Every Time I Am Quiet, You Think Something Is Wrong?"

On a beautiful June day this summer, I was driving while Reese sat unusually quietly in the backseat. Normally, he loves to tell stories, is full of trivia, and poses interesting questions to all of us. He is eleven now, but he has been that way for as long as we can remember. We consider him our little encyclopedia, and many of his teachers have said the same about him. He comes from two parents who also really like to chatter. We can be pretty loud and even talk over each other at times. Reese has three younger siblings he must compete with for talking time and attention. They all have their own ways of making themselves heard. 

So, on this one random day in the car, when I noticed that Reese wasn't talking at all, I asked him what was wrong. His response took me by surprise.

"Why is it that every time I am being quiet, you think something is wrong?" 

Obviously, I must say it to him a lot for him to express his observation. I didn’t even realize I had been doing it. I am so used to Reese's voice making sounds around me, that when it isn't, I think there must be a problem. 

The loud mom in me figures that a quiet kid must be a sad kid, a lonely kid, a bullied kid, an anxious kid, a tired kid, or an angry kid. We can fill in the blank with all sorts of negative emotions I was equating with his silence. It had not occurred to me that nothing was the matter with him at all. He just wanted to have some peace. 

Seriously, who can blame him? Our home and car are always filled with so much noise: dishes banging, kids crying, toilets flushing, parents bossing, music playing, phones ringing, and on and on. Reese was just doing what I also do when it is quiet for a few brief moments in our life. He was relishing in it. He was taking deep breaths. For once, he was able to hear his own thoughts as he watched the beautiful Midwestern landscape pass by his car window.

The two greatest sounds I hear as a mother are my children's laughter and nothing at all. I'll take either one any second of the day, as long as it means that my children are at peace. If they are being quiet, it means they are not arguing with each other. They are not crying. They are not whining. They are just enjoying the tranquility that doesn't happen often in a family with four children. Since that car ride, I have learned not to worry as much when my usually talkative child is quiet. Being quiet is not wrong. Being able to experience silence is a blessing that my son has learned at a young age, and now he has shared it with me.

Thank you, Reese, for your wisdom. You taught your mom something, and I am so happy that you did. 

I'd love for you to find me on Facebook: 

https://www.facebook.com/mamalovesyouandchocolatetoo