Saturday, August 23, 2014

I am Not a Supermom

How does one attain the label, "Supermom?"  Somehow, it's been instilled upon me since my early days of parenting, when I began impressing others by flying alone over international waters with my two babies.   I don't really know how I managed those flights, I just did it because I had to do it.  We have all done some supermom-ish feats during our years as parents.   I don't feel that special, so when people refer to me as supermom, I kind of want to cringe.  I really don't want that title, especially because it's hard to live up to being Super all the time.  When I was brainstorming names for my blog, I even considered "not-a-supermom," but it was already taken.  Apparently, I am not the first person to want to buck against this praise.


Last night, I failed at my Supermom mission in one of the biggest ways imaginable.  I completely and totally and utterly forgot about my preschooler's Meet the Teacher Night.  It's not like someone broke a bone falling down the stairs (totally plausible around here), so we couldn't make it.  It wasn't because he freaked out at the last minute, and we decided to bail to save his sanity.  I just forgot to ever write it down on the calendar.  Do you remember that I told you I forget everything that isn't written in my two paper calendars?  It wasn't written in either one of them, even though we learned about it several weeks ago.  

How could this happen?  Is it because he's the fourth child, and we've managed to neglect this rite of passage for him?  Sadly, maybe so.  Am I a terrible mom because of it?  I'm gonna say, no.

Do you know what I was doing last night?  I was being "Super PTA Mom" to 50 other kids. I had been so focused on planning an event at our elementary school, that I had totally missed my youngest son's chance to meet his new preschool teacher, Mrs. R.  My poor boy! 

He's the child who has been telling me all summer that he doesn't want to go back to school. He is the one who has been saying he does not want to have a new teacher this year.  His preschool is in a small building; same room; same playground; same everything.  However, this year he will go to school three days every week instead of two and have a new teacher.   He is my anxious child who I just wrote about on Tuesday morning having these fears.  On Tuesday night, Mark and I went to the preschool for the parent night.  How did I not remember that the student night was going to be in two days, on Thursday?  Uh, because I never wrote it on my calendar!

You won't believe what kind of event I was hosting at the elementary school at the same exact time that I should have been holding Marshall's hand at his preschool.  It was a special welcome event for kindergarteners and students new to our school.  Our PTA was ready with popsicles and smiles,  welcoming those scared new moms and dads who were full of questions and not quite ready to let their babies go.   I was there as the seasoned mom, the veteran mom, the pro!  I assured those new parents that we had all been in their shoes at one point and knew how it felt to be new to the school and anxious about everything. 

Kids were crying?  It's normal!  You're nervous about them riding the bus?  Normal! 

Unable to attend our school's meet the teacher night next week?  Totally fine!

Forgetting to write an important date on your calendar and blowing off your scared little baby boy to help other people's kids you don't even know?  What, are you crazy?

How is it possible that an entire 24 hours passed after this PTA event before I even realized that I missed Marshall's preschool night?  I really have no idea, but I won't take all the blame.  Mark forgot, too.  He was at the parent night and heard the reminder from Mrs. R. 

Although I am sorry that Marshall missed his chance to talk with his new teacher for a few minutes and see his school again before the first day, I refuse to beat myself up about it.  The day has passed.  I will ease him in to school on his first day as best I can.  I will tell him wonderful stories about his teacher and show him pictures of his brother and sister loving school.  Mrs. R is even his friend's Nana, so that's worth something!


The irony on where I was instead of at Marshall's preschool is not lost on me. I wasn't getting a pedicure or guzzling wine while binge watching Orange is the New Black.  I was doing a very important job for dozens of other families in my community.  I know how much they needed it and appreciated it, and I'm glad that if I did have to screw up at home, I was there for them.

As moms, we often feel like if something doesn't go as planned for our children, we have let them down in a way from which they will never recover.  Believe me, they will, and so will we.  Marshall doesn't even know that he missed anything.  Had this been my first child's preschool back to school night, you can bet I would have been calling the teacher to try to arrange a private meeting before school started.  Gosh, how annoying!  As my years as a parent have progressed, I'm thankful that I have learned to let life happen.  Meanwhile, my kids are turning out to be pretty freaking super themselves!     


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5 comments:

  1. We've all had a mom fail. This week, mine was forgetting to take my fourth child to his Meet the Teacher Night at preschool. Will you share your mom fails with me so we can learn to forgive ourselves? Nobody's perfect!

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  2. Last night I was getting a pedicure while guzzling daiquiris and binge watching Orange is the New Black. And I consider myself a pretty good mom as well. I don't think I had any open houses to attend, better check the calendar :)

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    1. Yep, you better make sure you didn't forget to deliver the ice cream. :) Why weren't we having daiquiris together???

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  3. Awwwww...as a mother of four I totally understand! But you know, sometimes things work out for the best, the open house can be very daunting for an anxious child. There are not only classmates filling the room, but lots of adults and siblings. It was a crazy night! He may just be a lot more comfortable meeting his teacher on the first day......tell him I can't wait to see him, and I've got a good friend "Pete the Cat" who is anxious to meet him too!

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    1. Oh, Patty, thanks for the encouragement. I will tell him about Pete the Cat! See you in a few weeks. I know once he gets there again, he'll feel back at home.

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