Here I am, the Real Me

We all have many faces, right?

Mom face, wife face, school parent face, friend face, daughter face, employee face, Facebook face?

Everybody's talking about how unrealistic people's lives appear on social media. I'm going to say Facebook, since that's the outlet I use the most. We read about and are naturally aware that people tend to post the most flattering pictures, the happiest moments, the most cherished memories.

Family vacations which spark the biggest dose of envy.

Family portrait sessions on the beach making us doubt our own abilities to choose coordinating outfits for our boring old sitting at Sears.

Family dinner updates that send us into a spiral of guilt knowing that we fed our kids chicken nuggets for the third time this week. How did your kid willingly eat kale and quinoa?

I do believe I'm a pretty good parent, and so is Mark, yet I still feel all these pressures. For quite a while over the past couple of years, I spent my fair share of time scrolling through my Facebook feed and questioning my parenting abilities. Questioning myself. Questioning my gifts.

I'm going to share something with you. It is a picture that someone took of me and then posted to our school's PTA page over the weekend. It was taken during our annual Fun Run a couple of nights ago. When I first saw it, I was a little embarrassed at how silly I looked, so I planned to delete it. Then, I took a second glance at it, and here's why I didn't:

Our entire school comes together to celebrate raising boo koo bucks for our PTA. The kids collect pledges with a promise to run with their classmates at this event, called The Fun Run. We have live music and hundreds of kids with endless energy bounding around the track, dressed in a collection of rainbow colored t-shirts. School spirit is contagious, as the P.E. teacher, who walks on water, leads the kids in an evening of fitness fun. Parents visit with one another, teachers give high-fives, and the school mascot even makes an appearance.

What does all of this have to do with my picture? Well, the woman who snapped the photo was just standing at one point in the track, hoping to grab shots of as many kids and families running by as she could. She planned to share them on our Facebook page for everyone who didn't have a camera ready. Brilliant. I know what I was doing during the exact moment that I walked past her. Exactly.

Do I look happy or what? Excited? Ecstatic even? Yep! I had just stepped off the stage area and then was surprised to see my very dear friend and her husband on the sidelines. That's why I was waving with that goofy grin on my face. (If you know me and see me out in public, you can be sure I'll smile and yell and wave at you)! Next, I ran over to greet my friend and her husband. A moment later was when I learned that the little baby nestled inside my friend's expectant belly is going to be a boy! Hugs and squeals and jumping up and down followed. We already knew their family was growing, and now we knew how: big sister, baby brother, mama, and papa.

The rest of the night was filled with many more moments. Some were triumphs. Some were tumbles. I caught many of them with my own camera, but, of course, I'm not in any of those photos. I'm thankful to this other school mom who happened to catch me off guard at a second that solidifies who I am in my community, my school and most importantly, my family.

Would I have ever shared this picture on Facebook if it had been taken by Mark? Absolutely not. Why am I sharing it with you? Because it shows you who I am, and for anybody who doesn't know me in real, real life, I want you to see me.

• I'm a busy PTA* mom in my thirties who has given birth to four kids.
• That's my body in jeans, which is pretty much what I wear every day.  
• I am excited for school events and pour my heart and soul into making school a special place for our kids and their families.
• My friends are important to me, and I want them to know it.
• I still use my old-school digital camera (see that fancy case around my neck)?
• Spending time outside on a gorgeous Fall evening (notice those beautiful trees behind me) with my kids and Mark (who were running around somewhere) was my idea of one fantastic Friday night! 

People have accused me of being a perfect mom...a super mom...the best mom. I can assure you that I am none of the above. I'm just a mom like everyone else, trying my best to make it all come together so everybody survives.

While I was busy working on Fun Run all week, my house was a disaster. I made a hot, well-prepared dinner on one of the nights...I think. Dishes piled up again. Laundry...of course it wasn't done. I don't need to tell you. You know how it goes.

I'll play catch up this week. In the meantime, Trixie decided to save this photo as my desktop background! I guess it will serve as my little reminder every time I sit down to write or email for PTA that even though some things (the house) fall apart when we're busy being multi-tasking moms, others come together just right. It'll be a reminder of the gifts I bring to my family.

Have you ever seen someone capture your gifts on camera? Were you surprised at how you look when you were in your element? Even if you've never seen it on camera, tell me about what your gifts are. I know you have them!

*I should tell you that I had not been super involved in PTA (Parent Teacher Association) until last year. I had always volunteered for events here and there when I could, but having babies at home made it difficult for me to make any regular commitments. For our family, the time did eventually come for me to step up and help lead our group. If you don't have a lot of time yet to be a school parent, it's okay. Some schools have easy tasks you can do from home. I encourage you to contact your school's parent association and ask for ways to be involved. You and your children will not regret it.