In Part 1, I described what life can be like for a child with sensory processing issues. After many years, my third child had finally decided to wear a Halloween costume.
In the post you are reading now, which is Part 2, I'd like to share what happened after Chip joyfully wore his costume for the first time. Often, sensitive children can change their minds at a moment's notice. I'll describe what it was like for him to attend his school's Halloween party, which has always been an overwhelming experience for Chip.
Finally, I will publish a piece for parents who are seeking advice or help with sensory processing issues. Please look for that in Part 3: 3 Rules to Navigating a New Stage of Parenting.
Making Strides and Setbacks at Halloween
Chip ran home from the bus on Friday afternoon, so excited for the Halloween parade at school. He dressed himself right away and counted down the hours until it was time to leave. I had warned my children ahead of time that they were going to need to be patient in the beginning, as we were arriving early to finish decorating our car for trunk-or-treat. They would need to wait with me while we completed that task, and then again while I greeted families at the door. (I was wearing My PTA-mom hat, along with my bright orange pumpkin shirt). Extra rules on an already sensory-overloaded night can be difficult.
I thought I had done my best to prepare Chip by explaining these guidelines many times before we left the house. However, once we were at the school, everything changed.
Tears started to flow.
He was crying about wanting to take off his costume.
He began insisting on never going to the parade again, never wearing a costume again, and predicting it was going to be a horrible night.
It all happened in just a few moments, right after we pulled into our parking space. I worried that everything Chip had overcome during the prior few days was going to be erased, and his new self-confidence would be forgotten.
Well, I was wrong.
Suddenly, out of the side window, Chip saw a few of his friends starting to arrive, too. More ninjas of varying colors were filing out of their cars. Football players, zombies, superheroes, Darth Vader. All of them were ready for the party and eager to see Chip. Seeing his friends in costume was enough to shake him out of his momentary lapse in Halloween readiness.
The rest of the night was a blur of what Chip described as "The Best Halloween Party Ever!"
Hundreds of parents and kids waiting in line for donuts and cider, children squashed up against each other on the floor watching a festive film, temperatures reaching sauna-like levels. All of these factors would have sent Chip into a frenzy in the past. This year, my boy did not melt down and cry to go home. He left me in the dust, braved it all, and said he couldn't wait for next year.
PS. It was much spookier in the dark.
(Photo courtesy of Christine H.)
For any parents with sensitive children, please feel safe in knowing you are not alone. Our kids' struggles are real, and they tend to move through them at their own pace. Even when they seem like they are moving ahead, setbacks are common. We just need to be supportive of our babies...day to day, moment to moment.
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