Not everyone has this natural tendency to embrace the newbies. Not everyone even has an ability or desire to seek out someone who might look a little lonely or lost or in need of a warm welcome. Somehow, I do have this tendency, ability and desire. I once heard the term, gift of hospitality. I suppose I might possess this gift, if it does in fact exist.
I have tried to use this gift of mine to reach out to people who are new to motherhood, in town, church, school, an organization, the country, whatever! People often ask me what my secret is to connecting with these fresh new faces and helping them feel at ease in their new or unfamiliar environments.
I would say that the number one key to making connections with new people is...
to SMILE!
It's the easiest way to lessen the stress of any new or difficult situation. It's the simplest way to let another person know that you see them and are open to having a conversation, answering their questions or holding their baby while their toddler darts down the hallway.
A smile really can go such an incredibly long way.
Have you ever walked into the library carrying a baby, diaper bag, and a really loud three-year-old who still doesn't understand what you mean when you say, "Whisperrrrr?" Did anybody give you a friendly smile during this common fiasco of motherhood, or did you receive the stink eye from a library patron who wished your kids would just Shush?
Do you remember the first time you took your children to their new school? Did people smile at you when they walked by or when you came through the door, or did you feel invisible through the halls and as if everyone already knew each other?
I can remember many of my experiences in places that were not so positive. If I hadn't been the outgoing, in-your-face type of person that I am, I might have slumped away from ever going back or trying to put myself out there again. Instead, I've simply embedded those negative encounters in my brain and used them to benefit others who will be in similar situations in the future.
Obviously, not every person is meant to be the Welcome Lady. Your husbands would probably prefer that you are not. (Mark asked me this morning to please stop signing up for everything, as I was waking up before dawn to prepare for a welcome event at school).
We all have different personalities and different gifts.
However, I am quite confident that most of us are capable of making that aesthetically pleasing facial expression known as a smile.
Please, try it. We never know who we can touch and who needs our kindness today. You might make a new friend in the process!
Do you consider yourself to be a Bringer Togetherer or a person who likes for people to reach out to you? Can you tell us about an experience you had when you felt especially welcomed or especially unwelcomed somewhere? How has that shaped how you reach out to or shy away from others?
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