Peeling Back the Mask of Sensory Processing Disorder: Part 3

3 Rules to Navigating a New Stage in Parenting

Since I shared just a small fraction of our experience with Sensory Processing Disorder during Halloween time, I have been hearing from so many parents who are feeling that they navigate this world alone. What I would like to say is that you are not alone. Many of us have children who are dealing with similar frustrations. We just need to reach out and find each other!

You are probably wondering how that is possible when you already feel like you are the only parent going through it. These are some of the thoughts you probably have on a regular basis.

Other kids eat a variety of foods, including vegetables and non-processed meats. 
 
Other kids put on their winter coats, hats, boots and mittens without tantrums.
 
Other kids dip their toes in sand, grass or water without screaming.
 
Other kids like parades and the loud sirens and flashing lights that come with them.
 
Other kids willingly take baths when they need them, or maybe even before a layer of slime accumulates on their bodies.
 
Other kids move through childhood without ever knowing the struggle of an oversensitive body system. Gosh, why does everybody else have it so easy when my child cries every day about something?

The truth is, everybody doesn't have it as easy as we think they do. Every family is struggling with something. Each child probably has some issue that is causing concern in the home. Sensory processing is just one that is highly visible, and often at inopportune times, right?

I would like to encourage you that it is possible, and critical, to seek out other families who do battle the same issues. Parenting will feel a lot less lonely once you overcome the initial shock and make it your mission to connect with others who also are struggling. You can follow these three rules to help you.

Rule #1. Read...a lot!

I have discovered that using a variety of tools for gathering information makes life a little easier for all of us. Of course, I always turn to the library and Google. I read books, magazines, every pamphlet I see, Facebook and, obviously, helpful blogs. For whatever diagnosis your child has, there will be at least one online organization and support group which you will find valuable. I have learned that becoming as much of an expert as I can (while still being a busy mom with four kids, a husband, a house and myself to manage), is the first step.

As a parent, I will always be reading and learning. That part never ends. I accept it.  

Rule #2. Listen...a lot!

Through my many years of navigating my own children's issues and concerns, I have always turned to parents who have crossed the path before me. They are filled with so much experience, knowledge and advice. When I need help with something new, I look to those previous "experts." I have a notebook ready and actually write down what they tell me. It may sound silly or antiquated, but it's a crucial part of my tried and true process. I know I won't remember the entire conversation later, so I record the details. Doctors, therapists, foods, websites, resources. I jot all of it down, so that when I am ready to digest it later, everything will be right there in front of me.

How do I hear about these expert parents and who they are? I listen attentively when people talk. I remember when I hear about children having certain diagnoses. Mr. A's child has Asperger's; Mr. B's child has Tourette's; Mrs. C's child has allergies;  Mrs. D.'s child goes to speech therapy. I am able to remember and file these little tidbits into my brain and then use them like a Rolodex when it's time.

Because I have many children of varying ages, I do happen to know a lot of people. If you aren't part of as wide of a network as I am yet, that's okay. You can ask your friends for references. Ask your family. Ask your pediatrician. Ask on Facebook. Ask your neighbors, teachers, whomever you can! Someone...somewhere, will know somebody who has been in your situation in the past.

Rule #3. Talk...a lot!

Luckily for me, I have a big mouth. (I have shared that truth about myself with you, right)? I don't mind sharing my experiences with other people, especially if it can help someone through a difficult situation. I have found that my talking about our lives has already helped many others. Thus continues the circle of learning and listening. I'm hoping that others will remember what experiences I have had, and they will feel comfortable seeking out my help in the future.

Just the other evening at swimming, I overheard a mother talking about some struggles one of her daughters was having. As I had been in her situation in the past, my supersonic eavesdropping skills had been activated. Then, I scooted myself across the bleachers to see if there was anything I could do to help. Through our lengthy conversation, I learned that she felt extremely alone in this journey to advocate for her children. It was all very new to her, very overwhelming and very exhausting. These are the words parents often utter to one another when their guards are finally down: overwhelming, exhausting, confusing, sad, frustrating, emotional...HARD.

This particular woman was in a special circumstance because she actually had two children with two different syndromes and many questions. Somehow, I had been at the right place, at the right time, to extend some advice to this mother. At the end of our talk, she felt more confident, a little relieved and ready to tackle the next step in her journey.

Another obvious benefit of talking is that both parties can actually learn something. We can discover new therapies and strategies to try with our own children through the regular old art of conversation.

If you are a parent who has navigated life with a sensitive child, I'm sure you have tried these rules of Read, Listen and Talk. I hope that you will be willing to continue to share your knowledge with those new parents coming up behind you.

Just as every child is different, so is every child's method of sensory processing.

 

I am not a substitute for a therapist, but in our home, some tools which have benefited our child's specific sensory needs are:

• occupational therapy
• sound-proof headphones for parades
• sunglasses/hat for bright days
• granting him a choice in clothing, unless extreme weather is in effect
• giving a choice for bath time, hair-cut, nail trim: We tell him he can choose tonight or tomorrow, but it has to be done.
• brushing therapy
• therabands
• rolling over his body with a large yoga ball
• pouring piles of stuffed animals/clothes on him
• trampoline
• swimming
• bike riding
• swinging
• push-ups, sit-ups
• allowing him to jump against the couch
• a weighted lap pad

Most importantly, we try our best to show FLEXIBILITY, PATIENCE and LOVE.

If you're stumbling upon this post, please read back to Parts 1 and 2 of this series, in my anecdotal accounts of Peeling Back the Mask of Sensory Processing Disorder.

My Sensitive Kid Finally Wants a Halloween Costume! (Part 1)

Making Strides and Setbacks at Halloween (Part 2)


For many more resources, please check out The Sensory Processing Disorder Foundation's website.

For a great site to purchase brushes, bands, and lap pads, check out The Therapy Shoppe.

I'd love for you to find me on Facebook:

https://www.facebook.com/mamalovesyouandchocolatetoo