What ARE You Going to Do All Day?

My family is in the midst of a long and lazy summer. I find myself desperately clinging to the carefree nights, more tightly than I've ever clung to them in the past. Every summer before now, I have been ready for the kids to return to school. I've been anxious for their routines to kick in and for them to experience time and space away from one another.

This year is different, because a dramatic change is coming. My main role in this life I have built for the past thirteen years will shift. I will be a stay-at-home-mom, although no children will be staying home with me. When people find out I'm suddenly going to be all alone, every day of the week, they curiously stare at me and probe for answers.


Naturally, first comes, "So, are you going to back work?"


When I tell them that I'm not going to work yet, they fire back with, "Well, then what are you going to do all day?"


While a minor identity crisis may be looming for me, I'm not going to focus on it quite yet. I do have plans. Plans I'm going to take my time in navigating. Plans for all of the tasks around our house which have been placed on hold while forty sticky fingers and eight growing feet have been making this place their home.


Projects I should try to complete once the children go back to school:


Paint. All of the kids chose new colors for their rooms, which we had planned to do over summer break. It didn't happen. I've been wanting to paint our bathroom and bedroom since we moved in 5 years ago. The family room is due, as is our dining room and entry way. Okay, I'm just going to say paint...a lot.


Hang up pictures: I'll start in the kitchen, since we removed them in April 2014 to paint that room, and they are still sitting next to the washing machine, waiting.


Organize the linen closet: I need to develop a better lay-out so that balled-up fitted sheets don't jump out at us every time we open the door.


Purge my personal junk drawer: If I move all of the old high school photos to a box in the basement,
I'll be able to create a functional jewelry drawer. My current jewelry system is a disgrace.


Clean closets: Every mom could spend a lifetime making closets more efficient or pleasing to the eye. However, my side of our shared husband/wife closet is admittedly the worst in the house. I end up wearing the same five items, because I don't want to disturb my piles.


Restructure the toys: When we remodeled our basement a few months ago, we needed to move all of the toys into a storage area. The only toys we kept out were the air hockey table and the kids' Legos. Everything else has been crammed, shoved and smashed into a room, which, thankfully has a door. Many of you would say, "If you haven't used them in so many months, the kids don't miss or need them, so just let the items go." I, too, believe in this theory, but first, we must make our way through the walls of toys before we can donate any of them. Fun!


Plan meals: Now that I'm going to be child-free for grocery shopping and meal prep, I should have hot and variety-filled dinners on the table by 5:30 every night of the week. Maybe I'll finally figure out Pinterest without being so overwhelmed that I close the screen and run. I'll discover new Crock-pot recipes, meaning my kitchen will stay clean all afternoon as I tackle those monsters in my closet.


Now, let's be real. Those plans might take me all year to complete, or I may be writing next fall about how I still haven't hung up my pictures in the kitchen. Life happens. Kids stay home with illness. Opportunities arise. I'm never going to stay at home every day, all day, cooking, cleaning and organizing. I wish those were my strengths. The truth is, I have no idea what life is going to be like in my future, because I have never experienced this stage. I have always had babies and kids in tow.


Ways I hope to spend my time, once the children go back to school:


Enjoying hot coffee: Alone, or with dear friends, I will drink my coffee, while it's hot, for the first time in my life.


Strolling TJ Maxx: With all of my painting ambitions will come a need for some new home décor items. I'm hoping to call some other newly empty-home moms to join me for leisurely browsing.


Volunteering at both schools: Until now, our chances to attend field trips and be in the classroom have been limited to when Grandma could come into town to help with little siblings or if Mark could take some time off work. We still chaperoned at least one every year, and I dragged the youngest kids along to most PTA events, but now, the freedom to go everywhere and do everything is boundless.


Reading, writing, watching my own shows and talking on the phone in peace: These dreams are universal for all parents. 


Meeting Mark for lunch dates: Probably what I'm looking forward to the most, and what will help me when I'm missing the four small extensions of myself, is being able to see my husband in the middle of the day. We won't need to pay for a baby-sitter in order to have a quiet meal together. What?? Am I really talking about our life?


I was driving our oldest son to a middle school orientation night, and I asked him a question about the eighth graders. Mid-sentence, I remembered he is an eighth grader. How is that possible, when it was just yesterday that I was 23, sitting next to Mark in our first house, anxiously waiting for those two blue lines to appear?


We've all heard the saying, "The days are long, but the years are short."


I have a feeling that once all the kids are in school, both the years and days will feel shockingly short.


Moms: What do you think your day is going to look like this year? Do people have expectations of what your life should be like because you have more kids at home or less kids at home, or because you're working now or home now?


Let's make this year your year! You have worked hard to be where you are and to have brought your children to whatever stage they are in right now. Wanna meet for coffee?

I'd love for you to find me on Facebook:
https://www.facebook.com/mamalovesyouandchocolatetoo

http://mamalovesyouandchocolatetoo.blogspot.com/

Crossing the Finish Line

Training.


I had never officially trained for anything in all my 36 years. In the past, I had been able to complete most tasks without check-ins and schedules. Then, on the brink of summer, I declared I was going to be a runner. I knew I could not do it on my own, so I joined a training group led by my friends.


Much like the four times I anticipated childbirth, the preparation for my very first 5K race was wrought with pure uncertainty. The training session carried on for eight weeks...two-thirds of our summer. The procrastinator and denier in me refused to calculate how many miles were actually in five kilometers until our third week running.


5K = 3.1 miles


Wow!


Now you know, too.


For experienced runners, training for a 5K race may seem so minute. Experienced runners breeze through 5K every time they step out their front door for a morning work-out. For a newbie runner like myself, my journey was anything but breezy. During every single run, my brain and body battled through so much.


Nerves.


Fear.


Breathlessness.


Pain.


Tears.


Doubt.


Exhilaration.


Relief.


Anticipation.


I was the most beginner of beginners, and I was often the slowest runner. Even after eight weeks, the longest I had run was 20 minutes. Leading up to the race, which was the culmination of our training, I still remained unsure how I would manage. I hoped that the adrenaline and excitement of the crowds would keep me moving, even if my legs and lungs would try to quit. New friendships were formed and old ones had been strengthened, so I leaned on them as well.


Then, there's the whole reason why I began to run at all. There is my family. My four kids watch me walk out the door in my neon shoes and know their mom is a runner. The confidence and pride that have blossomed in the past two months are life-changing. I'm modeling behavior that will have positive effects on my children. Some have even started to run with me. They often leave me in the dust, but seeing me sweat and work and fight through my running sets an example for determination and perseverance.


Every runner has to start somewhere. Every runner has a first race. I captured many of the moments of my first race in my mind as I pounded through those 3.1 miles, but the moment I hope stays with me forever is when I passed my family on the side of the course. Their dad boosted them off their lawn chairs when he saw me coming around the corner, so all four of them jumped up and clapped for me, cheering, hollering and yelling.


They shouted, "Go, Mom!! You can do it! Come on, Mom, you're doing great!"


My kids. Little kids, whom I have been watching and supporting from the sidelines for years and years, were there to cheer for me. It was surreal.


I passed them with a smile and a fist pump in the air and kept on running. As the course wound through more neighborhood streets, I began to grow weary. Tired. Nervous if I could keep going. As I followed my way back out of the street, I knew that I could keep going because I would see my family again. Those three silly boys and my motivational daughter were waiting, once again, for me to emerge from the path.


Aaaannnnd...that's when I lost it!


My official cheerleaders were relentless in their encouragement, as tears of elation streamed down my already red and sweaty cheeks. Mark worried for a second I was hurt, but shouldn't he know better by now that I cry at everything? I waved again, soaked up their love, and kept on running to the end.


So, maybe all of this crazy talk I'm spewing would discourage anyone who's reading from ever wanting to take up running. I hope that it's the absolute opposite.


Please take a look at my face as I crossed the finish line. See the pure joy in my eyes?

Did I just say pure joy from running?


I did, and I meant it.


After our race, we were enjoying fresh blueberries around a picnic table, and my dear friend and coach, Renee, said these words to my children:


"Do you see your mom? Look at what she did and how strong she is!"


Moms are strong. We should want to show our children what our bodies and minds can do when we try. They will learn from us to be confident in themselves, too. Three hours ago, I met a woman new to our group who was running for the very first time...ever. A delicate place in my heart pounced with excitement, as I insisted that she CAN and WILL be a runner.

What will you be? Please take it from me, you can do it.

 

 

My friend, Rachel, snapped these photos of me reaching my goal and heading toward Mark and the kids for the final time. I'll be running another 5K in September. The kids want to do it with me. Mission accomplished!

I'd love for you to find me on Facebook:
https://www.facebook.com/mamalovesyouandchocolatetoo

http://mamalovesyouandchocolatetoo.blogspot.com/