Now that I have you thinking, I'd like to introduce you to someone whom many, many parents trust with their children every single day. He's a man who constantly has his eyes, heart and mind on the safety and emotional well being of hundreds of school kids, just like ours. Elementary school principal, father and children's author, David Stefanich, is sharing his debut book, Stand Up, hoping to open an important dialogue about a sobering topic: a lonely child named Xavier who is being bullied in school. I recently had the honor of hearing the author read his book aloud, as scores of elementary students sat beneath his feet, clinging to every word and stretching their necks to view the haunting illustrations, gloriously provided by Corey Verdon. As Stefanich closed the covers of his eerily eloquent and all too real story, parents and kids were left stunned and speechless.
Why were we speechless? The author's words and the illustrator's creations tell the story in a way we've never seen. We instantly relate to the characters, and for each person, it's for a different reason. Maybe we have had the dreaded phone call that our child has been throwing blocks at another student. Maybe it's because we fear our own children could be silently suffering. Maybe Xavier's story has actually already happened to our child, and hearing Stefanich describe it so poignantly cuts straight through us. Maybe we couldn't really know or see how our child felt through it all, until now. Now we see. Now we know.
Maybe the story strikes us so deeply
because it brings up painful memories from our own childhood. Ones that we
thought had been buried, but here they are, dreadful as ever, staring us down
like that group of mean girls blocking the way to our locker. Maybe we were one
of the school bullies in the past, and hearing Stand Up socks us in the gut like we deserved twenty years ago.
Being bullied…being a bully…being a
bystander…being a parent…being a teacher. No matter who you are, this story is
POWERFUL. After hearing Stand Up, I
created these goals for myself: meet the author, listen to his story, and do what I can to make sure this book finds its way
into more libraries and homes around the world.
Please take a few moments to read the interview I've conducted with this up and coming author. While keenly aware that his story "makes adults uncomfortable because we don't want these types of things to happen," he has accomplished his goal of "writing something authentic that kids could relate to" today. Stefanich also provides some excellent tips for parents on how to spot signs of trouble in our own kids.
Please take a few moments to read the interview I've conducted with this up and coming author. While keenly aware that his story "makes adults uncomfortable because we don't want these types of things to happen," he has accomplished his goal of "writing something authentic that kids could relate to" today. Stefanich also provides some excellent tips for parents on how to spot signs of trouble in our own kids.
Interview between Elizabeth Morales and David Stefanich
"I try to empower children just by
sharing the story. I was recently at a local school doing a reading and
afterwards, when I was signing a copy for a fourth grade student, I asked what
his favorite part of the book was. He told me it was "the whole
thing" because it reminded him of something that has happened to
him. Although I was sad this boy had had a similar experience to Xavier
from the story, I was glad that Stand Up
was something he could relate to, because that was the whole point of the
story."
Describe
signs that parents should watch for which might signal their child is
encountering a bully at school.
"The biggest sign parents can look
for if their child is being bullied is a change in behavior. A sign that something is going on might be a
child who has previously really enjoyed going to school, is having a hard time
in the morning before school, or is saying they are feeling sick without a lot
of other symptoms."
As
a school principal, can you offer advice to parents who are genuinely surprised
to find out that their child is picking on another student?
"My advice is kids make mistakes, and
as parents it is important for us to do all we can to keep the lines of
communication with our children open. This open communication can lead to the
discussion that will help to turn that mistake into something that can be more
positive down the road. As parents we need to help guide our children to
persevere when a mistake has been made, to own the mistake, try to fix it, and
move on. No one is perfect, but how we teach our children to respond when
they have messed up can make a huge impact. "
"I don't have huge memories of
getting picked on or teased. What I do remember is that when I was picked on or
called names, or laughed at, I remember feeling very alone. I also
remember my 6th grade teacher, Mrs. Marzalec, was a teacher that really gave me
a lot of confidence in myself. You could say she gave me confidence to
'stand up.'"
"Being a father has shaped how I view these types of situations. Working in a school, in a position in which I interact with hundreds of students on a daily basis, I try to always keep in mind how I would want my own children to be treated. Whether a child is going through something like Xavier or whether they are picking on a classmate, I always think about how I would want my own child's teacher or principal to respond. It's kind of like my golden rule: 'How would I want the principal to respond if Kingston or Kyrie were in this situation?'"
What really compelled you to write your book, Stand Up?
"I was compelled to write this story
for a couple of reasons. First and foremost, it has always been a dream or
goal of mine to write a book. It wasn't until recently that I decided that
if this is something I wanted to do, I just needed to do it. As a writer I
believe it is important for you to write about what you know. I have either
attended or worked in schools for the past 28 years, so it made sense to me to
write a story that takes place in a school setting. I didn't set out to write a
story on the topic of bullying, but as the first draft got down on paper, that
theme became clear, so the telling of Xavier's story in an authentic and
somewhat lonely way became a focus of the revision process."
"One thing I like to tell young writers is that the first draft to Stand Up was absolutely horrible. It was nowhere near the finished process it is today. And writing is just that, a process. This story, although under 1000 words, took almost a year to complete. I wrote and revised and poured over small details. Parents can easily encourage their child to become a better writer just by listening to their stories. I can't tell you how many times my wife listened to different versions of Stand Up. Her willingness just to be present in the moment and listen to the small changes I was making helped me to end up with a final product that I am really proud of."
This post is not sponsored by any book store, publisher or Mr. Stefanich. I'm simply using this broad avenue of mine to share an important story that I know you'll want to read.
Now, share this link and get your hands on this book! Stand Up, Written by David Stefanich and Illustrated by Corey Verdon, is available for purchase online through Amazon and in person at Reader's World.
For your chance to win a FREE copy of Stand Up, come on over to my Facebook page and leave a comment in the Stand Up post. We're giving one book to a school employee and one to a caregiver. Just tell me in your comment which one you are. The drawing will be on April 1st. Good luck!
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