Mama Loves You and Chocolate, Too : A Mother's Role Is...

After decades of watching my favorite chefs on The Food Network entice and teach me about cooking, it is still my go-to channel when I catch a moment to myself. I have little in common with most of the hosts, but I still watch. I learn. I relax.

A few years ago, I discovered The Pioneer Woman, Ree Drummond. She was a busy mom of four who cooked home style food for her family. I thought somebody like me finally was on TV. Then, I took notice of the manner in which she described herself. She always declared,

"I'm a writer, blogger, photographer, mother…and an accidental country girl."

While I watched her show intently and devoured her recipes, I had a difficult time moving past the placement of her role as mother. I would think to myself, How can she not list mother first? Isn't that how moms introduce themselves?

"Hi, I'm so and so. I have this many kids in grades x, y and z."

The Pioneer Woman boldly did the exact opposite of what I do. Talk about guts. I had never seen anything like it. While I'm embarrassed to say it made me uneasy in the beginning, I grew accustomed to hearing her list.

"Credential, credential, credential, mom."

Why did I find it so strange? Maybe because so many moms I know tend to highlight their position in motherhood before any other of life's accomplishments. Am I sheltered? Old-fashioned? Clueless?

What do you do?

You may have noticed that my own role as blogger has taken a shift these past few months. While I once published new work three times a week, that momentum became increasingly difficult to maintain. Not because I didn't have anything left to say, not because this life became less interesting, and certainly not because I was tired of talking with you.

So, why did my posts slow? Where have I been?

Simply stated, I have been a mom.

I don't need to detail my life as a mom for you. You know what I've been doing. You know because you are a mom, you live with a mom or you were raised by one.

We've talked about fear of failure. The unrealistic reach for perfection. Each Tuesday, Thursday or Saturday that passed by without a post weighed heavily on my mind. People often asked about my blog. I didn't want to disappoint my readers. I didn't want to admit I was easing up my writing schedule. Couldn't I keep up? Shouldn't I just do it all?

I'm here to say that for this mama, the answer today is "No." At this point in my life, doing it all means being all in for my family.

Remember when I said I was having a bit of an identity crisis with my baby going off to school? Currently, we are in week four, and I'm nowhere near solidly identified yet. My kids are doing astoundingly well without me. I know I am still Mom, but I have no one to mother for seven hour stretches. It's a bizarre feeling and a weary way to walk through the day. I'm happy for that bit of peace, yet aching for the company of my boisterous boys and girl.

This week is when I will adjust the settings on my blog. My parrot head schedule is changing. I'm nervous, but it's happening. Will you bear with me through this new stage of blogging? I'm not giving it up or leaving. I'm simply admitting that I have had to move my priorities for a while. I'm giving myself permission to let go of those self-imposed deadlines to enjoy this new part of motherhood: a mom with big kids.

My proud place in life right now is mother, wife, friend, writer… and official Bringer Togetherer. I still have space for everybody…including myself.

Let's keep connected on my Facebook page on the days I'm not writing new stories. Share your triumphs and struggles. Ask questions to the community of parents there. You know I love to create meaningful discussion. You can start here:

If you had to list five ways to describe yourself, what would they be? Are you surprised at how they have shifted over the years?