Mad Men is over.
Sigh.
Last Sunday night...Once the children were tucked into their beds, Mark sat next to me on our couch, playing his favorite game. (He has never pretended to understand my draw to Mad Men, but he at least tried to be present). The ninety minutes I spent waiting until 10 p.m. seemed stagnant. I opened a book that I just couldn't seem to find time to finish, only to set it back down on the ottoman in exasperation. Tapped my foot. Checked Facebook. Searched for something on TV that could tide me over until the finale.
While flipping through the channel guide, I noticed a show titled Submissive Wives. Instantly, my eye was drawn to that specific line on the screen. Submissive Wives. What could that possibly be? Would it entertain me enough until the very last episode of Mad Men became history? Reality television has always featured shows I watched just for the sake of sheer fascination. Sister Wives. Kate Plus 8. Dance Moms. None of the people in those shows had any semblance to our family or me, yet I couldn't seem to turn away from them.
I figured that Submissive Wives would probably be similar...a little nugget to pique my interest, tide me over, and leave me feeling thankful for my modern marriage and typical family.
I watched the first forty-five minutes of Submissive Wives with Mark by my side. He just kept saying, "Why are you watching this?" We both felt wrong to be watching it. It seemed backward and forced, but I wanted to see how it ended. What was the point of the show? Were we supposed to learn to like these families and their conscious choice to set women back a century? One of the wives declared that a wife's role is to: "help her man, serve her man, submit to her man, and sleep with her man.” (Fox News)
Feel free to shriek...or agree. (I'm a shrieker, FYI).
What I found so poignant was the fact that Submissive Wives aired twice on Sunday night, right before and right after the Mad Men Series Finale. After Mad Men ended, and I took my jaw off the ground, I flipped back to TLC to catch the first part of the show which I had missed. My feelings about the submitting wives grew more tense.
How many other people really watched both shows? Maybe none. What I did know was that Mad Men deliberately chronicled the obstacles women faced at home and in the workplace during the 1960s. Aside from the smart interior design and hypnotizing soundtrack, it was the women characters who always seemed to keep my attention. Their roles in the world, their plights, and their slow rise among the zealous Mad Men enthralled me.
Women of the 60s blazed a trail for our generation that we may not have even realized. Watching Mad Men for the past seven seasons has opened my eyes to what I had only read about in books or didn't even know was ever a problem.
-Women not being referred to by their names, but simply as Sweethearts.
-Birth control being denied to unmarried women.
-Creative, talented women being refused opportunities because of their gender.
-The rampant emotional and physical harassment women endured based on their bodies, appearance and clothing.
-A doctor's blatant disregard of a woman as his patient, providing a serious diagnosis and treatment plan directly to her husband. (That scene was troubling and hard for me to watch. Betty sat in the foreground while two men decided her fate from across the room, not even considering to hold her hand or ask her opinion about her impending death).
So many aspects of Mad Men intrigued me and kept me coming back for more. I can safely say that I loved it, will miss it, and will probably binge watch it all over again. Each person who has watched the show likely tuned in because of how and where it resonated in their own lives. All fans who flipped off the TV or logged out of Netflix came away with something different: nostalgia, regret, disbelief, pity, admiration.
For me (an ambitious young girl raised by a feminist, who eventually chose to become a-stay-at-home mother), the show developed an even deeper respect and reverence for women. Women who fought to break down sexist employers. Women who knew what they wanted and charged forward to grab it. Women who may not have even known that what they were doing was significant. Whether or not we liked what the writers chose to do with our always troubled Don, we did like what women like Joan and Peggy have done for us.
Then, I watched the so-called-stars of Submissive Wives willingly forgo everything that has been established for the sake of womankind and families, all under the guise of "preventing divorce."
-Only a man should make decisions for a family.
-A woman should dress and wear make-up specifically to please her man.
-Men need constant praise, food and affection in order to be successful fathers and husbands. It is a woman's duty to provide all of it.
Wow, those notions were so against Mark's and my nature that it was difficult to type the words. Would I have felt differently about Submissive Wives if I had seen it on any other night that wasn't associated with the conclusion of this alluring television show? Not likely, but that's because I've been surrounded by enough powerful women and strong men who have found a balance to making marriage and relationships work...together.
Thank you to the women of our past who paved the future for us and our daughters, and to the men who have walked alongside them.
Did anybody else watch Submissive Wives and/or Mad Men? Am I the only one making the connection between the two of them?
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