I Gave up Facebook for Almost a Year

This morning is Valentine's Day, so naturally, I began my morning with a rich bite of chocolate. The kids followed suit, as I gave them permission to indulge in their goodies before we headed downstairs for a real breakfast. Reese is away on a retreat for the weekend, so our table seemed strangely amiss with only five places set. It's a blizzardy blanket of white outside, so we're planning to be snowed in for the day. Mark is up in our room, strumming his guitar while the other three babes are playing together in the family room. I've migrated to my computer chair, seeking inspiration on what to write for you today.

This month, I have already written about ways Mark and I keep our marriage thriving with date nights, and also about the unending love a father has for his daughter. These two stories are full of the gushy love that people equate with Valentine's Day, but for some, that love doesn't even exist. Love on Valentine's Day just isn't reality for everyone.

This morning, I opened up Facebook after breakfast, and I was flooded with images of people sharing love, kisses, gifts, roses...romance. I may have liked more photos and status updates today than I have ever done in one sitting. I was smiling back at my computer screen, smiling at your delight. I was genuinely thrilled for all of you. I'm able to feel joy because I'm in a joyful place as well.

However, because I'm a deep thinker and emotional woman, I instantly started to wonder and worry about all of my other friends. Those who aren't as satisfied right now. Who are suffering in some way. Whose families are shattered. Who have been wronged by someone who claimed true love. Who can't afford the latest gadgets or flowers or even chocolates. How do they feel when they scroll through their feeds, seeing that everyone they "know" is having a better time? A lovelier time? A sweeter time?

Sometimes it can be difficult to see others' happiness or boasts of good times. Sometimes, we just have to decide when enough is enough and give ourselves permission to place our minds at rest. You may be surprised to know that I have experienced those feelings myself.

A couple of years ago, I just had enough of it. Had enough of viewing everyone else's dream vacations, enormous spreads of Christmas presents and perfect pregnant bellies. All I could think to do to curb the pressure I had been feeling was to quit Facebook.

Give it up.

Cold turkey.

I did it, and my absence lasted almost a year.

It was one of the most liberating experiences of my entire life.

It sounds extreme. Why couldn't I just pop on once in a while to check on close friends and family and then pop off again? Well, because that's not my personality. I'm an all-in kind of girl. While my account was deactivated (I didn't get crazy and delete it permanently), I spent so much more time with my head inside this house and with this family, where it needed to be anyway.

Eventually, I was ready to rejoin the online world, and I felt ready to fully embrace it once again. I was no longer feeling jaded or annoyed, but excited and anxious to be back. It was an excellent vacation, and it worked wonders for my psyche. Of course, I still feel pressure sometimes. We all do. It's something we as parents have to learn to tackle, so we can properly coach our kids to be confident online. Thanks to my great community of readers who are sharing these experiences, we're helping one another!

Have you ever considered leaving social media for a bit? There is no shame in it. No shame in saying you can't take it anymore or that you need a break. The overload of information is very real and very daunting. On the other hand, when I talked about this in the past, I heard the best piece of advice from a good friend I haven't seen since high school graduation.

She said, "So what if someone else's Facebook highlight reel looks better than yours?"

Yeah, so what?

I'd love for you to find me on Facebook:

https://www.facebook.com/mamalovesyouandchocolatetoo

 

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