On the morning of his birthday, as we gathered on the couch to watch him open a few gifts, one of our other children asked us what time Marshall was born. Horrified at myself that I wasn't able to rattle off the number, I gasped, smiled as I tried to regain my composure and then turned to my husband. I calmly said, "Let's ask Dad."
The kids all laughed and responded with, "He doesn't know either. He told us to ask you."
How is it possible that a mom had let such an important detail escape her memory? Particularly, this mom. We wait and wait and wait for nine long months for the very second when a living, breathing, squirming human being will be brought forth from our bodies and laid onto our chests. We will exhale with pain, exhaustion, relief and jubilation. A tiny person will no longer be hidden inside of our wombs, which are basically churning pots of the unknown. Instead, that new life will be free for the world to see and hold and ENJOY! That's a big moment. A gigantic moment. A moment that somehow, when we started reminiscing about my fourth child on his fifth birthday, I could not recall.
Although the exact hour and minute escaped me that morning, I knew that I could easily discover his birth time. It is printed on his birth announcement and on the backs of photographs and in his first year calendar. Then there was my favorite place where I knew I could find it. It is the place where I documented it with the utmost care; where it is cherished and recorded with love. It is in the extremely personal story I composed just a few days after my son's birth.
I would love to share that story with you here today, in honor of my last baby's 5th birthday. He really is not a baby anymore--he makes sure to tell me all the time! It has served its purpose to jog my memory of the exact time of day that our little surprise was laughed into the world, but it is so much more than a record. It's intimate. It captures a moment in time for my family that I can never recreate. So much has changed in our home over the past five years, but what a special way to glance back to our past, to the exact minutes when our third son, our final child, was born.
"Laughed into the World"
Written in the middle of November in 2009 and then shared with my friends and family all over the world.
This little baby boy sure has caused a lot of drama the past nine months, but his birth was a very fitting end to a stressful pregnancy. Aside from other complications along the way, many people don't know that I went into preterm labor at 33 weeks. I spent the night in the hospital, and I went home taking medication every four hours and confined to bed and the couch. Three weeks and one false alarm later, I was taken off bed rest and given permission to resume regular activity. I made it to 36 weeks with baby boy still safely tucked away inside. I definitely had contractions daily, but nothing happened. Each night I went to sleep wondering if that night was going to be the night baby would arrive. Trixie had come five weeks early, and Chip's birth was very quick as well, so I was constantly on edge. I was dilating more, and at 38 weeks I was four cm. Doctor told me she would induce me at 39 weeks plus one day, to save my sanity.
I had cried in her office due to all the stress of wondering what I would do with all the kids if I went into labor in the middle of the night. With the plan in place, I was ready. I was set to be induced on a Thursday at 7 a.m. On the Monday before, I thought I was in labor. My good friend, Karen, rushed over to watch the kids, Mark's mom drove to town, and we went to the hospital. Things stalled after a couple of hours, and even though I was dilated to five cm, I was forced to go home due to a law in our state. (Nothing can be done to encourage labor before 39 weeks). I was just two days away from that milestone, plus I was already scheduled to be induced, but I had to go home. I was totally disappointed, but Mark took me out to dinner, and baby stayed inside until the big day.
With Chip's planned induction at 38 weeks, Pitocin was started at 7 a.m., and he was born at 10:14. I was sure this one would go even faster, especially since I had been moving along for weeks. Nope, nothing happened for the first five hours.
I started Pitocin at 8, and got my epidural by 11, and things were still going slowly. Doctor had predicted baby would be born by 12:45, which I thought was a late estimate. I was totally figuring he would be born by 10. That just goes to show that every labor is different.
Our family is now complete. I still can't believe we have four kids. When I see them all together in one place, I am just amazed. Whenever a new child is added, life quickly reaches that point when you can't remember a time without him or her. I am already there. Of course, Chip seems like a giant boy now, no longer a baby. That always happens as well! Reese and Trixie's babyhood seems like a lifetime ago, and they are now the big, big brother and sister who go off to school on the bus. Mark is taking a week vacation to help take care of everyone. It will be so great to have everyone at home together. We are spending Thanksgiving at home, since it will be too early to travel with little Marshall. My friend, Theresa, told me to enjoy the "babymoon." I had never heard that term before, but we are definitely in babymoon mode now!
Thanks to all of you for your prayers along the way and congratulations messages now. We are so thankful for all of the friends we have, not only in several states across the U.S., but also in several countries around the world.
Although I don't have a carefully crafted baby book for our fourth child, I do have this very special gift for Marshall. It is found in my written words. They carefully describe the events and my emotions surrounding his very momentous arrival! I would like to encourage all of you, no matter what stage of motherhood you are in, to record your birth story. Obviously, doing it right after the birth is awesome, because our minds are so full of what has just happened to us and the emotions are raw! When I went back to read this story today, I had forgotten so many of the little details that I am thankful that I did record. For instance, I didn't remember that he started sucking his thumb just seconds after he was born. However, it's never too late to write your own birth story. Enlist the help of anyone who was there with you. Husbands, moms, friends! We know those birthing rooms are busting at the seams these days.
Keep them to yourself or share them with the world. I know I'd love to read each and every one of your stories. I will be taking my own advice and writing my other three birth stories, not to be shared on the blog. You already know so much about me that one of my accounts about the very private act of childbirth is probably enough for you to handle.
Marshall was surprised when he awoke on his fifth birthday without a mustache or a deeper voice (something he was certain came with turning five). He was also convinced that he would no longer be attending preschool but would be jumping straight to kindergarten. I truly enjoyed my day alone with him. We had peanut butter sandwiches on a blanket in our living room, and I realized that it would be the last time he would be home with just me on his birthday. Another one of those roller coaster moments of motherhood, for sure.
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