I'm talking about the day that
my four-year-old son was drowning. We had been celebrating my birthday at
my best friend's pool. Cristina and I have seven kids between
us, but for some reason I cannot remember where my Marshall was that
day. He would have been a baby. I don't know if he was in a
stroller or napping or with his grandma somewhere. It's funny how our minds
play tricks on us, making some details really stand out and others seem to fade
into the background. I do know that Reese and Trixie were with us, as were
Cristina's three children. The oldest five had been swimming all day. Chip
did not want to swim. He told me so many times. He sat on the side of
the pool the entire afternoon. I sat with him for the few hours we were there
together. I tried to encourage him into the water, but he really was not
interested. He dangled his feet in for a while and sometimes sat on
the stairs that enter the pool, but he did not leave the side of the
pool...ever.
Cristina and I had such a wonderful time
together. Since our families live two hours from each other, the chances
we do have to spend together are cherished and packed with
fun. We indulged in birthday treats and just relaxed and
talked by the calming, rippling water of the stunning in-ground
pool. After spending several hours outside, it was time to pack up to head
over to my mom's house. We were going to have a birthday dinner with
my family at my favorite restaurant: Olive Garden. I had been
dreaming about those endless breadsticks all week.
We moms issued a five minute warning to the
children, letting them know their pool fun would be coming to an end
soon. We were packing up our bags and cleaning up the cups and plates
from the mini-party she threw for me. My back was to the pool for the first
time all day. I was talking to Cristina, and something was nagging me to turn
around. It wasn't anyone's actual voice. It was not a sound of
splashing or a cry for help. It was just something in my own mind which told me
to "turn around; turn around; Elizabeth, TURN AROUND!" Cristina
was in the middle of saying something to me, but I stopped listening
and turned around to face the pool. What I saw was one of the most horrifying
sites a mother could see. My child, my four-year-old son, Chip, was in the
middle of the pool. The middle of this extremely massive pool. I
still have no idea how he managed to be there when he had not left the
side of the pool all day. All I know is that his body was vertical, and
his arms were spread out to the sides of him, sort of like a
T. His mouth was open under water, and all I could see above water
were his eyes, bulging in terror.
I instantly ran and jumped into the
water. Cristina had no idea what was happening, since I had just changed
from my swimsuit into regular clothing. Why was I jumping into the
pool? Neither of us had known that Chip was anywhere near the water, and
now he was drowning. Silently drowning, as I've learned every
drowning is. I was able to swim out to him and pull him out of the water. I'm
sure he must have been coughing and gasping for air when he was finally free
from the water, but I do not really remember it. My instincts kicked
in, and he was safe. What I do remember is what he said to me when he was
finally calm and snuggling in my arms. Chip said, "Mama, I tried
to call you, but my mouth wouldn't work."
Those words are probably the saddest words I
have ever heard one of my babies say to me. Chip's mouth would not
work because it was full of water. Water from a pool that was supposed to
be fun. Water that was supposed to symbolize summer freedom. Water
that can give hours of entertainment yet steal a life in a matter of
moments.
The other children had been just ten feet away from
Chip the whole time. None of them saw anything. They did not know he had
entered the water either. We moms were busy. No matter how diligent we had
been to keep our eyes on him for the previous three hours, those two minutes we
turned around to clean up changed everything.
Chip still talks about the day his mouth wouldn't work. Every
time he does, I feel shaky and want to cry. It was my fault. I did not
make him wear a life jacket because he didn't like the way it felt on his
body. I am blessed enough to have turned around to find him, but what if I
hadn't listened to that voice in my head? What if I was too late? What
if?
I beg you, please, be vigilant with your
babies near water. Be attentive to the point that you are annoying
them. Have life jackets on them even if they do not plan to swim. Do
not turn your back on them. EVER.
Also, please study the signs of
drowning. Most drowning occurs in plain sight of others. It is
silent. Kids playing in pools make a lot of noise. They splash and
giggle. If you hear nothing, something is wrong. I have learned that
the T-body position that Chip was in is an instinctual position a person's body
will take during drowning. After 90 seconds of submersion, a person will
lose consciousness. How is it possible that I turned around just in
time? How was I so lucky when so many others are not? Our
lives could have been changed forever, in the worst way imaginable. Whenever I
hear about a terrible drowning in the news, I remember my day with Chip. I
thank God for being given the chance to save him and to be his mom. My
birthday is coming again soon. It reminds me to be thankful that we are
able to go to Olive Garden, with all of my children, safe and
sound!
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| Trixie swimming when she was four. She had on a life jacket and a ring. Chip was wearing nothing on the day he was drowning.
For more information about drowning, please check out this helpful story by Mario Vittone, a water safely expert. http://mariovittone.com/2010/05/154/.
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